Wasted Gifts - Part 1

When I was in college, I got an internship at a local church working with the Middle School youth.  I was so excited to have the chance to work under a youth director who was experienced and had great ideas to share.  My internship was supposed to start in January, but the youth director thought it would be a good idea to meet the youth at the Christmas parties. 

He explained that we were going to do a progressive dinner by going to 5 different homes for dinner.  One house for appetizers, one for salads, one for the main course, one for dessert and the final house...well, dessert again. Each student was to also bring a $15.00-$20.00 gift to put into a pot for a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange. 

We meet at the church and the introvert in me started to panic with each middle school youth that showed up.  By the time we left the church, there were around 50 middle school youth running around crazy and excited for their Christmas Party.

First house - Appetizers were delicious, but to the middle school youth they made much better flying objects.  Just being there to meet the youth, I wasn't sure I should say anything, especially since the youth director was participating.  I thought it a little rude to the home owner, but luckily we were on a time schedule and left fairly quickly.

Second house - Salads = a food most middle schoolers do not want to eat.  Luckily they didn't throw the salads, but they were very vocal about there dislike of salad.  Once again...it bothered me, but I remained quiet.

Third house - Lasagna was delicious and luckily the youth thought so as well.  The fact that just as much lasagna hit the table as their mouths bothered me, but they were at least polite.  They didn't clean up after themselves or say thank you, but they weren't overly rude either. 

Fourth house - Dessert was great, youth enjoyed it and were actually saying thank you!  I was happy with that, but could see the energy levels rising quickly from the sugar!

Fifth house - This dessert was even better and I begin to see youth shaking from the sugar consumption!  I could see this going down hill quickly. 

For the most part, through the progressive dinner, the youth were rude, obnoxious and way too rambunctious.  I thought there were lots of missed opportunities by the volunteers and the youth director to teach some life lessons, but fun was the only thing that seemed to be on the agenda. 

Not only was the fifth house the place for the SECOND dessert, but it was also the place for the gift exchange.  The unlucky soul that had to open the first gift picked a gift and opened a "Cooties" game.  There was lots of laughter and making fun and it was unlikely another kid would come and "steal" his gift during the dirty Santa.  The second kid...another gag gift.  Third gift, same thing.

This went on and on, with a few kids "stealing gifts", especially the one $20.00 gift card to blockbuster (that was back when people actually rented movies). 

The more it went on, the more of a joke things became.
Things were tossed around and broken.
It became an opportunity to laugh at people and pick on people for their gifts they opened.

I have to admit, I was irritated.  Here are 50 youth with at least a $15.00 gift.  Total it up and a minimum of $750.00 was spent on gifts that night.
Gifts that mostly were broken and left in the trash.
Gifts that if they did go home, were not likely to be used for much of anything other than a paper weight.
Wasted gifts.

It troubled me.  It disturbed my heart.  It frustrated me.

I learned a lot that night.  I learned that youth ministry should be more than having fun.
I learned that even Christmas Parties can be a good time to have teachable moments.

That is why, when we have our Christmas parties at the church now, we bring a "re gift" item to the church to exchange and we collect the $10.00 to go to missions.
If we are going to exchange gag gifts, it might as well not be something we spend money on.
We will not just "waste" the money on the gift, we will use that money to make sure other people get to experience the Christ child on Christmas day. 

What kind of gifts do you give at Christmas?  Are some out of obligation; people you give a gift to because you feel like you have to, not because you really want to?

How can you give gifts that really make a big difference?
Could you adopt an Angel tree child in someones honor instead?
Could you write a letter to your parents, family, and friends telling them how much you really appreciate them and what they have done in your life? 

I can tell you, that I'd rather someone give a gift in my honor to someone less fortunate, than give me a gift.
I'd rather receive a letter from you saying I've made a difference in your life.
I have everything I really need.  Most of us do. 

How can you make sure the gifts you give this year are not wasted gifts?