Here is the basis of the conversation:
Youth: (in questioning what the bible says separates us from the love of God) See it doesn't say!
Youth director: Yes it does
Youth: No it doesn't
Youth director: Yes it does, it is one word.
Youth: Exactly!
Youth director: Yes, it says nothing!
Youth: Exactly!
Youth director: Yes that is the word!
Youth: Exactly? That's the word?
Youth director: No, it's nothing!
Youth: No, no, no, don't give me nothing, give me something!
Youth director: I'm telling you the something is nothing!
Youth: What planet are you from where something is nothing?
A few lines later in the sketch the youth director says, "No, no, no, I want you to go in there and do something, but that something is to say nothing, and if you say nothing, then Sheldon that is really something!"
Yesterday, we met with an oncologist about a treatment plan for my testicular cancer. We were told that I had a stage 1B seminoma and that it is not believed to have spread. The oncologist believes that the entirety of the cancer was removed during surgery. Often, my form of cancer is treated with 1 round of chemotherapy to help prevent a reoccurrence of the cancer. The treatment of choice at one point was radiation, but the oncologist said they are moving away from that treatment due to the long term side effects of the radiation compared to the benefit gained. There is a 15% chance of a reoccurrence over the next 5 years and 1 round of chemotherapy would drop that to a 5% chance of reoccurrence. If it does return, the fatality rate is only at 1 in 1,000. There is no proof that chemotherapy would improve the fatality rate and therefore the oncologist recommendation is to not have radiation or chemotherapy.
In telling this news to a number of folks, the first response I get back is "so they are going to do nothing?". Well, no...they are doing something. The oncologist called it "active surveillance." Much like a lifeguard sits by the side of the pool actively surveying the area ready to act when needed, my oncologist will be sitting by, scanning, and ready to act if needed. So, in my case, "nothing" really is something!
Over the next five years, I will be seeing the oncologist on a regular basis, doing x-rays, CT scans, and blood work, to make sure the cancer has not returned. It will start off on a 3 month basis the first year, a 6 month basis the next 2, and then annually the last 2 years. We still had the option to do a round of chemotherapy, but thought the "active surveillance" was a good "nothing!"
I still have some test to go through for some other things they have found in the midst of all my testing. The first CT scan showed a spot on the right kidney. Early test show that it is "not consistent with a cyst." I will likely have an MRI soon to figure out if that spot is something of concern, or if it also turns out to be nothing. They also found 2 small spots on my right lung that they are going to monitor as well. The oncologist believes the spots are likely of no concern, but has added test to my "active surveillance" plan to keep an eye on them as well.
The conversation from the skit above came to my mind for 2 reasons. 1. In talking about a treatment plan, it can appear as if the oncologist is doing nothing. and 2. the skit is about grace. In confirmation, I usually define grace with the youth as "undeserved favor." I have been extended a lot of grace by a lot of people over the last month or so. I have been given so much undeserved favor that it has truly been humbling.
Thank you all for the prayers, the meals, the cards, the well wishes, the visits, the childcare, the cleaning of our house, the offers to mow our yard, and the donations through go fund me (talk about undeserved favor). Amy, Anna, James, and I can never really personally thank all the people who have shown us support over the last month. When we have offered our thanks, many people have responded with "oh, it was nothing," but let me tell you, to our family all that "nothing" really has been something!
