The Good, The Bad, and the Ughhhhhh

I wanted to take a moment to update folks on my latest health findings.

The good:
I met with my surgeon yesterday and he has cleared me for "whatever activity I feel like doing."  I don't plan on going out to run any marathons, but I didn't plan on that before surgery either.  ha ha
It is nice to not be limited in activity, though I didn't always follow orders anyway.

For the most part, it is fairly safe to say that testicular cancer is in our rearview mirror.

The bad:
As I mentioned in a previous post, they had found a spot on my kidney that was concerning.  Dr. K ordered a biopsy of the kidney to be a little more aggressive in finding out what was going on with it. The radiologist didn't want to do a "blind biopsy" and wanted some imaging done first.  So two weeks ago I had an MRI for the kidney.  Wednesday, the doctor's office called and said that the findings showed the lesion appears to be a tumor.  So they ordered the biopsy to be done and that was scheduled for September 25th.  Yesterday (Thursday) I went in to talk to Dr. K about the MRI.  He is about 90% sure I have renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer).  He said he only says 100% when he has pathology or a biopsy.  He was not happy that the biopsy was 3 weeks out and decided to cancel the biopsy and go ahead and refer me to a surgeon for a partial nephrectomy.  They will remove the tumor and about 15% of my kidney with robotic laparoscopic surgery.  My consult with the surgeon is scheduled for September 26th, but my doctor isn't thrilled with that timeline either and plans to call the doctor to try to get it moved up.

The ugh:
Frankly, our family is tired.  It has been a long year and all the waiting for answers is wearing.  This one has weighed on us a bit more than the seminoma did.  This happening during the school year means there is just lots more to juggle.  Though we will still have to wait on pathology to confirm that I have renal cell carcinoma, the doctor is convinced enough that it is a bit unnerving.  He wants answers as to why a relatively healthy 39 year old has (potentially) two unrelated cancers at the same time.  He said that my oncologist will likely want to do some testing to see if there is an underlying issue that makes me susceptible to cancer.  That will likely include genetic testing, testing for autoimmune issues, and most likely lots more tests and doctors visits.  Hearing cancer the first time brought no real emotional response, because by the time I heard the word cancer, it was used in past tense.  This time, it is still there looming and is present tense.
Those that know me also know that I love my job and we love our church.  I've missed a lot of work this year and it has been really hard to plan and do my job with so much uncertainty.  There is no real end in sight for that uncertainty right now, and that makes planning and doing my job difficult.  It means that a parts of my job will simply not get done.  That bugs me more than a lot of other things going on.  Another surgery will mean more missed work.  Another surgery means less time being able to play with my kids.  Another surgery means it will be even longer before I can really help Amy with the house and kids.  I'm tired of "resting."  I know I need to, but I'm tired of sitting around.


Despite the latest news, there is still lots to be thankful for.
Had I not had an infection, it likely would have been a while before we really discovered the testicular cancer.
Had we not found the testicular cancer, we would not have found the spot on the kidney.
Dr. K said yesterday, that had we not found this early, there was a good chance I would not be around in 3-5 years.

I am thankful that we have found everything early.
I am thankful that we have such an amazing support system.
I am thankful for a medical team that holds my health as more important than their egos. (This isn't always the case with doctors, and I'd be happy to share some of the stories with why we love our medical team).
I am thankful to have a wife that stays strong and holds it all together for us.
I am also thankful that when Amy doesn't feel strong, people are there to hold her up.
I am thankful for my kids and the joy they bring.

Here is James' response to the latest lemon that life has thrown our family:

After yesterday's news, we didn't feel like cooking dinner, so we went out to eat.  James thoroughly enjoyed eating the lemons they brought to the table.  So, when life gives you lemons, enjoy the heck out of them.  

Anna's response to this later news was quite funny as well.  I told her that daddy was going to have to have another surgery to get rid of the cancer germs.  She immediately broke into tears.  I asked her why she was crying, and through tears she said "So you won't be able to carry me to bed upside down anymore?"  

Me, "Well mama can carry you to bed upside down?"

Anna, "But I want daddy to carry me..."

Me, "Well maybe James can carry you to bed upside down?"

Anna, "James?!?! James cannot even pick me up!"

Thanks for the perspective kid...Don't worry, daddy will do everything he can to get healthy and carry you upside down to bed anytime your little heart desires.

We love you all

The Wards