The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Thank you all for your prayers for my family and me over the last few weeks.  I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the support and love we have been shown.

As many of you know, today was pathology report day.  I can tell you I got two pieces of news.  The first I had no strong emotional reaction to, but the second one brought a tear to my eyes.

Before I get into that, a warning, I am going to be fairly open about what has been going on, and for some of you it may be too much information.  If that is the case, I apologize and you can stop reading after the next little paragraph!

The first bit of news Doctor K. gave me is that I do likely have cancer.  The pathology will be sent off for a 2nd opinion, but that the 2nd opinion rarely comes back different with this type of cancer.  That news brought no real emotional response from me, if anything I actually had a bit of relief to finally have some answers.  As Tom Petty says, "the waiting is the hardest part."  We have been waiting for answers with a lot of "it could be this or it could be this" since early June.  I like a plan.  I like answers.  Waiting has been no fun.  It has actually been quite mentally exhausting (I have realized that this evening, in that I think I have finally allowed myself to be tired).  The 2nd bit of news he gave me is what brought a tear to my eye.  I have been dealing with a good bit of swelling after the surgery, so he would likely be keeping me out of work a bit longer...and due to that fact, he told me to go ahead with my planned vacation.  The thought of seeing my family is what really brought about an emotional response.  The joy that news brought was a bit overwhelming.  He had told me the chances of my mass being cancerous had me convinced I wouldn't be going on vacation.  Dr. K said I need to continue to rest and relax because it will still take a while to heal.  He also said if I have to rest and relax, being around family is better medicine and treatment than sitting at home!  So tomorrow I get to fly to Michigan and somehow convince a little 4 year old she cannot play too rough (or hug too rough) with daddy.  She thinks I am still coming up on Friday, so she will be shocked to see me tomorrow!  Thankfully, James isn't at the age that he will be too rough on me!  ha ha

I know many people will think that hearing cancer means that prayers have not been answered.  I can assure you that many prayers have been answered.  We have felt loved.  We have felt peace.  We have felt community.  We have felt the church (in many, many, many different states and countries).  There have been so many little things that have just worked out for the best and I don't believe are coincidence.  In the beginning of June, I likely had an infection that helped lead to the discovery of the mass.  Lots of changes were made to the mission trip for a wide variety of reasons, but almost all of the changes meant that I wasn't as needed on the trip as normal.  We randomly decided to get a credit card to earn miles for travel back in April, and had earned enough miles that it almost paid for Amy's flight home (and last minute flights are not cheap).  I could go on and on about ways that God has answered prayer.

So if you don't want too much information about me, this is a good place to stop reading.

So a seminoma is a type of testicular cancer, usually found in older guys (who knew that 39 was old for testicular cancer).  Though cancer is not a word anyone every really wants to hear, hearing seminoma was about the best bad news I could get (I've done a lot of research lately and my advertisements on the side of my computer are quite odd).  Seminoma is one of the most treatable forms of cancer.  After the 2nd opinion is given, they will determine stage and type (there are several types of seminomas).  There will likely be a number of treatment options, because seminomas respond to a number of types of treatments.  The nature of the surgery for the mass means that it essentially removes all of the cancerous mass.  

So even though I don't like to hear the phrase "almost certainly cancer," I am thankful that the wait is over and we now have some direction.  The next few months will likely still be a bumpy road, but I am thankful to have answers.  I am especially thankful to have such a large church and huge support network.

Love you all
Kevin  (and family)